Your breathing card
In through your nose, slowly out. When the light grows and turns golden, breathe in. When it gets smaller and cooler, breathe out. It works with your eyes closed too: when you hear the rush of a wave, breathe out. After a few minutes the pace slows down a little on its own.
Grows and turns golden: breathe in
Gets smaller and cooler: breathe outEach time you breathe out, your heart slows down a touch. That's your vagus nerve at work, the nerve that brings your body into rest mode. The longer your out-breath, the more time that brake gets. Your shoulders drop, your breathing deepens and your body gets the message that it's safe.
Researchers at Stanford asked 108 people to breathe for 5 minutes a day for 28 days, with a long out-breath each time. Their mood improved more than in a group who meditated for the same time, and they breathed more slowly at rest. Five minutes a day was enough.
Emotional intelligence starts with you: noticing what's going on inside and setting the tone yourself. That's hard when your body is full of tension. Your first impulse takes over before your head has had a chance to choose. A calm body gives you space between what happens and how you respond. In that space you choose your words, listen better and stay yourself, even when someone else doesn't.
A message that stings, a sharp comment, a dog round the corner. Your heart speeds up and your breathing turns quick and shallow. Of that whole alarm system, your breath is the only part you can steer yourself.
Ideally every day, or a few times a week. Sitting or lying down, never while driving.
Breathe at your own pace and just listen. If you feel light-headed, simply go back to breathing normally.
Music and light that breathe with you for 20 minutes.
A scent for your breathing
A rare water lily that opens with the sun. In ancient Egypt the flower stood for life that keeps coming back. For me it is the scent of the evening: calm, vivid dreams and something magical.
Our brain spends all day looking for what is wrong, and stress makes that stronger. The sweet, soft scent of magnolia helps me turn my attention to what is lovely and good.
‘I would happily live in that scent!’ My go-to when waves of stress threaten to wash over me. The scent lifts me out of the situation, and sometimes I see that not everything is mine to solve.
Air makes space: a deep sigh comes on its own, and afterwards there is more room to breathe. It is fine as it is, as long as you keep breathing and stay with yourself.
For me a top oil for every woman over 40. Researchers had 63 postmenopausal women smell neroli for five minutes twice a day, and saw a difference after just five days.
The queen of the night: sweet, warm and alluring. 5 ml takes around 21,000 blossoms, picked by hand in the middle of the night.
Not my favourite scent, but a top oil for your skin. 5 ml of pure rose oil takes 10,000 roses. On heavy days the scent is comfort to me.
Eleven oils that become a scent on your skin that only you have. A woman at one of my workshops rediscovered her soft, feminine side with it.